“You ungrateful little…!”
Two possible reactions to my sons’ saying, “Just a sec,” to my every request. Do I get irate, or do I inquire about what has them so immersed that they just can’t break away to be fed, clothed, or educated?
I can get furious or I can get curious.
- Wait, What? To foster understanding.
- I wonder…? To foster curiosity.
- Couldn’t we at least…? To foster progress.
- How can I help? To foster relationships.
- What truly matters? The heart of life.
Understanding. Curiosity. Progress. Relationships. Heart of life.
Let’s try it with an example from politics. Pretend a law is proposed by the party you are not.
First ask, “Wait, what bill are they trying to pass?” Understanding is radical acceptance. Recognize the events happening. Be present. Do not deny what is. Ok. That is the bill they are trying to pass. Ok.
Then ask, “I wonder why they’re doing that? I wonder if it has any chance of passing? I wonder what the implications are? I wonder how my representatives are voting?” Get your answers.
Then shift, “Couldn’t we at least have some hearings, consider a bipartisan approach, try talking through our differences, add in the following…?”
Next, ask, “How can I help? Who can I call? Where can I donate?” And take action.
Finally, remind yourself why you care and what the point is, “What truly matters?”
When I remain irate, I judge and attack. When I get inquisitive, I explore, learn, include, take action. I recognize how often I say, “Just a sec.”
Furious or curious?